love is patient

2/10/26

have been sleeping with Hunter lately. It started out with my brother and Hunter in the same room, but my brother since moved his tent outside for sleeping at night, so Hunter was left by himself and would come to R & mine’s bed in the middle of the night every night, so end up here anyway. So R started sleeping in that room by himself in Hunter’s bed (w R’s old bed kinda taken up still, bc that’s the corner where my bro keeps his stuff), and then Hunter and I cuddled in my bed every night now. It’s nice – I feel grateful and it’s reminiscent of the old days when I’d sleep with him when we breastfed, except it’s nowhere near as bad because I’m not waking up every hour to feed him. it’s sweet – I read to him and he falls asleep, and then even though he changes his positions a lot during sleep, he subconsciously makes sure his feet and/or hands are always touching me – he likes that reassurance of someone next to him. The only bad thing is that my sleep is not as deep, because I wake up like every time he moves. but i love seeing his face every time i turn my head – his face is wild and perfect. he’s been getting even heavier lately too – weighed him at 34.4 lbs.

2/11/26

A sweet side effect of my brother staying with us: it’s made me love my husband more. I realized how eye to eye we see on things, when I compare. Also, I’d always thought of that passage that starts with, “love is patient, love is kind…” to refer to your beloved and how you treat each other. But I see that R is patient and he is kind with my brother, when he doesn’t have to be – I see him trying hard with him, even though I know sharing such a small space to begin with, with another person is really difficult, and it melts my heart to sideways glance at him during these times, like when he’s offering my brother food, or when he’s forcing conversation beyond the niceties. he definitely raises the standard for me, helps me, gives me a good example to follow, because this change in our living dynamics has been hard for me too- i’ve been struggling to keep inner and outer peace – and throughout, my husband does nothing but lift me up- initiating walks every day, sometimes multiple times a day to get away- we’ve been walking together a lot more, calming me when i raise concerns, leaving me alone when i turn my music on and shut my room off. i’m like reading 1 Corinthians at 5 in the morning trying to deal, but R is just naturally kind. i know no one’s perfect and everyone has vulnerabilities, but in this situation, he’s proven to be my rock.