synchronize your heart with your head

11/8/20— “finally we’re home! I like to be home with my wife.” – 7:43 pm, just after we got back from being at mom and dad’s for a few hours, R said this

11/9/20—

“And the intention is, hopefully, to show that it is possible to find some light- actually incredible amounts of light- in the darkness.”

“And I just took one step into the future and told the truth. And that changed my life.” 

– from Tim Ferriss’ My Healing Journey After Childhood Abuse #464 podcast

11/10/20—thought I had tonight looking at R on the couch while he was texting our contractor: “I’m so happy I married him. I could go on forever like this.” I love every part of him. Every single fucking part of him from his hair down to his big toes. He’s the most boyish man I’ve ever seen.

Does being the most blessed couple in the world (as you pray for every night) really mean having no worries because of an ideal situation/environment? or does it mean despite the situation/environment, having no worries? Like does being most blessed mean: being the most wealthy, OR being the most resilient? And can you have both? (or is it impossible because the wealth makes you too comfortable? Can you have wealth AND focus on never getting so comfortable that you lose your edge/resiliency?)

I mean…wealth is definitely easier, I know. It’s just easier to receive money bc that eliminates a lot of problems. and to ease worry and problems, that is definitely a blessing.

and then non-wealth is harder. like it’s harder to work THROUGH things, without the crutch of money. You have to rely on things other than money. (what are those things you have to rely on?)

Is it more of a blessing to work through hardship, or to have wealth that lets you sidestep hardship?

(I can kind of already tell the answer for myself, seeing it written out like this.)

11/11/20— “synchronize your heart with your head. hold for four seconds. exhale.” – Adriana Ayales, during meditation

11/12/20—how does your body feel when it believes something completely with its entire being? what is that feeling? have you ever felt it? I think it’s important that this feeling is familiar to you.