you know it’s going to rain for you (week thirty)

6/29/21

last night going to bed, while I was massaging up R’s leg, I think the combination of thinking of him and touching him made me feel in love. So I said to him, “Grude?” and he said “Yes Amor?” and I said, “Te amo.” And he said, “Vc tambem. Você é a pessoa mais importante da minha vida.” I thought I knew what he said, but maybe I looked unsure, so he translated for me in English, he said, “You’re the most important person in my life.” I guess I didn’t really think about it like that, but after he said that, I thought of everyone else in my life, and then I thought of him, and I decided it was true for me too, so I said, “Voce tambem para mim. Por mim.” Idk if I said it right lol. But I think he knew what I was saying. After I said “te amo,” I just thought he would say “me too” and that would be that. But he said this other thing- it was different, and nice, seemed sincere and honest, and made me think.

7/1/21

You hear the thunder, and then you see the rain. Hear the good news within yourself until you get the reaction that satisfies. This cloud or feeling covers or hides the manner of enfoldment or expression. You don’t know how, when, where, or through what source your prayer will be answered – that is the secret of your deeper mind. It has ways you know not of. But you know it is going to rain for you, because your consciousness is saturated, and you are filled full of the feeling of being what you long to be.

– Joseph Murphy