4/17/26
“There is big magic in hope, especially in the face of hardship and adversity.” – Mandi Em
I really liked the first romantic half of Hamnet, and was a little dreading watching the second half because I saw some foreshadowing of tragedy and I didn’t know if I felt like watching too-serious things. I cried (like hard) through most of the rest of it, but I’m glad I watched to the end; it was really beautiful.
4/18/26
last night I dreamed that I needed a ride home from high school, and thought “too bad i’m in Oregon now” because I thought of a few guys I’d like to ask back in NJ, for a romantic ride home.
4/19/26
10:04 PM – While holding Hunter and him kissing me, he said, “you smell like tea and infinite farts” and then in the next second farted on me, and said, “now you smell like more tea and infinite farts”
4/20/26
The other day we were walking quickly across the beach at Cape Kiwanda at dusk, trying to get back to our camp before the beach gate closed, and there were these little rivers running from land toward the ocean that we had to step over, and I was trying to walk through them in a way to not get my feet wet, but there was one we crossed that I could not find a dry place to step, so squealed loudly as I stepped my whole foot into the water and ran to catch up with R and Hunter. When I got there, Hunter said, “Mama, why didn’t you put the board down and step on it?” I had been carrying a little surfboard, and when he said that, I looked at R and we both froze for a second- i looked down and realized he was right – that’s exactly what I should’ve done. We were shocked by his insight, and laughed that maybe all his video game playing had an upside.
4/22/26
I like where we are now, in Seaside, Oregon. In our camp at night, we can hear the frogs croaking all night, and also maybe crickets- so peaceful. I’m really liking the beachtown vibe of these coast towns like Pacific City and Seaside and basically all the cute towns we passed driving down the coast, but we need to actually settle in a place that’s not as retirement/resort like, and more, I guess, busier/normal/good schools? For Hunter. A place that will have lots more kids his own age. If it was just R and I though, I would choose somewhere like here to live – i’ve always wanted to be near the beach. In Jersey, whenever we’d visit the shore, I’d gaze at the quaint, pastel painted houses and want to live there year round.
Marriage Journal 