sweet spot

4/4/26

tonight after my shower, I noticed that the top of my right foot was a little raised and dry. The only reason I noticed is because when putting on my socks, I instinctively flipped my right sock inside out because the skin there was too sensitive to have the terrycloth-like texture rubbing against it, and I preferred the smooth outside of the sock, which made me look twice, then I realized. As long as it stays like this, it’s fine and not a big problem. As long as it doesn’t get full-blown. it doesn’t have to be perfect. I guess it’s to be expected, no matter where I am, because it is pollen season and everything gets blown everywhere, and the most I can hope for is just to be somewhere where there’s just the most minimal pollen possible, as nowhere will be absolute zero.

4/6/26

it’s been a day or two, and the spot I was talking about feels and seems completely gone. I feel like I’m in a sweet spot now: my feet are healed, staying healed, and every day that passes and they stay healed is another day that proves that yes I should have moved, yes I should have traveled this far, yes this is where I belong. And then the days are also passing quickly: Hunter just wants to play all the time and I don’t even have time for my own stuff; I constantly feel like I’m being rushed everywhere and to the next place-  that I always have something I need to remember or write down, that I’m afraid I’ll forget; there’s always full trash cans to be taken out to the dumpster and laundry to be washed or put away and bathrooms to be cleaned and things to be tidied, things to be gotten rid of or donated – he’s always growing out of his clothes or making holes in them, growing out of his shoes; there’s always work and alarms going off – I currently have 8 alarms for the weekdays; and then we’re still looking for land/a house, so that’s a lot of work, and then the process of buying that land, getting it financed, and fixing it up….so I’ll see if I’m right about all of this sooner than later – the months are passing fast. 

4/10/26

today, cut R’s hair for the first time. i told him to tell me what to do, cause i didn’t know what i was doing. started laughing near the end because of how much i didn’t know what i was doing. at first shaved from the bottom towards the top, but wasn’t sure what to do with the rest- i snipped some, shaved some more. but the whole time, Hunter was screaming: about not leaving his side, about his food, about the flies around his food outside, wanting the haircut to be over, wanting to go get his promised toy right now at that very moment. So that was distracting and distressing both of us, and the haircut was definitely not peaceful, orderly, or symmetrical at all. R still said it was ok, very graciously like he always does, and that it was better than spending $40 for one.