11/30/25
still waiting until after he falls asleep to cut his nails. I don’t know why like a year ago, I thought we hit a milestone and I could finally do them while he was awake. He’s just as wiggly and can’t sit still as ever. I feel like I’ll be doing it this way for a long time. he’s just too jumpy about it when awake and won’t let me cut more than one nail at a time before he wiggles and flings his arm or leg away or puts them under a blanket, indicating to me “no more”.
12/1/25
it’s just started this week, just the past few days – I don’t see any weeping.
12/2/25
I can’t even explain what happened, but I’ll just mark down today (and last night) as being one of the most stressful days ever. It’s just too much and too tiring to think about and write about. maybe much later after I’ve gotten more rest and distance from it, I will.
12/3/25
yesterday was the first time I was able to wear socks without any pads or liners in it. It seemed like things were well enough to not weep, so I tried it because I had to mess up my routine because of the stressful thing that happened. Rodrigo wasn’t able to come home last night, so I had to put on socks after soothing (I usually sleep the whole night without them so my skin has a while to recover) and walk to the baby and sleep with him. It did hurt at first, but the next day when I put them back on, I guess it had dried up more and I was able to wear the padless, loose socks all day without really any pain. I was worried earlier in the day, but kept checking to see if the socks were sticking to my feet, and they weren’t. By the end of the day, was satisfied that things were fine. also, I want to mention that these past few weeks since I’ve been suspecting that my feet are getting better due to low pollen, I have been letting myself/indulging in gluten and dairy and everything I want, just to again test if diet plays any role with my skin. It seems like it doesn’t play any significant role. Because right on time in accordance with the pollen, and just like last year, it’s getting better.
12/4/25
so I won’t write about the stressful thing here, because I just spent all day writing it as a complaint to the BBB. I just wanna say here that, even though a bad thing happened, tonight while I was walking around and thinking, I realized that i’m really glad and thankful that: when I have something to say, I have the skill to pretty much completely express it with words, in writing. I’m really grateful I can do this. It’s important and satisfying to me to express everything I’m feeling.
Rodrigo is bringing our laundry to the laundry room at this campsite, and I just now realized something I really like about our new situation: it divides up the chores more evenly. When we lived at the house, I did the laundry 90 to 95% of the time. I handled basically all the groceries and food coming into the house. Also most meals/cooking I handled, except on the occasions (which were fewer and farther between) that we would go out to physically grocery shop or to a restaurant. Now, in the RV, we do it all together, and I like that R can see like how much work it is. He sees how much laundry there is to do now – the endless, endless loads- before, he didn’t know because he was away from home working all day. Now he sees and participates in how much work it is to keep food stocked and keep varied meals coming every single day. It puts me a lot more at these, sharing the burden.
12/5/25
what if… i’m headed to where I was always meant to be? What if I am? what if I’m right in the middle of the journey to a place where I’ll never get sick like i was again? what if I’m almost there?
Marriage Journal 