6/10/25
One of the funniest things Hunter currently does: will suddenly yell out, “oh yeah, baby!” at seemingly random, unprovoked and irrelevant times. i think he gets it from this kid Calvin he watches on youtube.
6/12/25
had a difficult night last night. Hunter is in this routine now where he doesn’t fall asleep till midnight or 1 AM, then gets up around 10 am. I read so many books to him, book after book after book and then half of a book with long stories on each page, but he was still awake after each one. I just kept pushing myself to get into it and read and just continue, keep going, and finally he was asleep. But it was so late, 1 AM, and I went upstairs and took my socks off and my feet were a bit bad and hurting, and I didn’t lay down in bed until 5 AM.
6/14/25
“shdjfhfjfbhdndhfhfbcnf xbcbb v b bb b v b bbxbxbbcvbcb bc. b vcbchcbdhjfofodepieieudhfhfhxvbbz. hdudbdhhzdhhxhxhxgxgxhxhxbxhxbxbxjxiewywysjsiwoododidudhsyhshshhhxgxg”
“you’re so PRIG-lyled!!”
-Hunter (he shouts made-up words, and with such confidence)
6/15/25
I let myself splurge on this perfume bc it’s my birthday, it was like $50. I like it, but every time I put it on, Hunter says, “you smell like poo.” two different times now, he’s said the same thing. lol
last night, Hunter went out with R and in the car fell asleep really early, around 6:20, so i thought it was just a nap. When he kept sleeping for the next 4 hours, i thought maybe he would just sleep all the way through the night and said to R, “oo, i’ll go to sleep early then.” Then he woke up around 10, when he should have been going to bed. He eventually asked for stories and I thought he might just fall back asleep for the night after a few. But it turned into a marathon in which i couldn’t see the end. around midnight, i finally asked, are you hungry? and he said yes and we went to the kitchen. He ended up not falling asleep for the night until after 1 am. Then i got ready for bed, it was about 2 am. Then feet took me hours- it was about 7 am when i was ready enough to sleep (they still hurt, but would have to do). but then realized my instacart grocery order (with a bunch of frozen stuff) was arriving at 8 and i should stay up to bring it in, bc H and R i knew wouldn’t be up for hours after that and things would melt. So a bit after 8, brought everything in, put urgent stuff away, went to sleep finally, exhausted. Woke up around 10:30 am to H and R’s morning noises downstairs. Did not feel completely beat down and wanted to help R (though if baby wasn’t home, 100% would have stayed in bed), so i got up, went down, cuddled bubba, helped, sat, ate. Tiredness started setting in afterwards, but mom invited us over to eat at 1 pm, and my decision making brain area was shot, so when R asked if i wanted to go, i mumbled indecisively and we ended up saying yes, and i was staring off into space a lot bc my brain felt so tired, i didn’t really want to go but we were going, the boys were in the truck already, i felt terrible but draped a literal bedsheet over my head and around me (still in pjs) and got in, feeling rushed, feet stinging and hurting, feeling like life had me by the horns and was pulling me wherever it wanted at whim, again at the point wondering if i would’ve chosen this life had i known it would be like this- hurt this much- and started crying hard, hunched over and completely covered in the passenger seat. i could, because H couldn’t see me from the back, and neither could R because of how draped in blankets i was. i sobbed quietly and hard and used the blanket to wipe my eyes, and it was only for maybe 2 minutes, then it was over, and i felt better. like for the rest of the day. i was still zombie-tired the whole day, but after the hard, short cry, felt more at peace.
Marriage Journal 