to hold onto something

5/25/25

hands getting a little better; feet still bad.

5/26/25

hit a great milestone today with baby. i just cut ALL his fingernails and toenails in one sitting, while he was awake, without really any resistance. it was when he was watching some lego pirate video on youtube. I had tried it the other week, but couldn’t get everything before he ran away. but if it’s all forward motion now, that means no more having to stay up late waiting to clip them after he’s asleep 🙂 After 3 1/2 years, finally.

5/29/25

one of the most romantic things ever said to me:

this guy i’d seen pretty sparingly and sporadically over the years, before R and i were serious, we’d last run into each other at reading terminal market. then sometime later, i don’t remember where we were, i just remember this thing he said. He mentioned he’d broken up with his current girlfriend. He said it was because (this quote won’t be exact bc it was maybe 7 years ago), “I realized that…the feeling I get when I see you walking towards me- that’s the feeling you’re supposed to get for the person you’re dating.” He didn’t force anything more, didn’t proceed to ask me out or anything like that (we never dated, only hung out a few times) – like it was just something he wanted me to know. At the time when he said it, it embarrassed me a little and i felt like it was maybe an over-the-top thing to say. But afterwards, and ever since…it brings me a sweetness to remember. I think about it especially when i’m longing…for something, i don’t know what. To hold onto something i don’t want to lose.