9/7/24
hands/fingers a little better
today rethinking that i may not be pregnant: this morning felt a little familiar twinge in womb that usually accompanies period- which by itself may not mean much, but also in the afternoon, almost late to pick up the bday cake getting stressed trying to make travel plans to the bakery before they closed, got PMS (i get an angry urgent feeling that suddenly overcomes me physically), so that made me think i’m not pregnant (i would only get pms if my period about to start, right?), so won’t waste $ on buying a test.
20% disappointed and 80% relieved. I’d really rather it be that I’m not pregnant and my skin is getting better, because then there’s more of a chance whatever situation is making it better is something I can sustainably replicate. (Like I can’t and won’t keep getting pregnant just to make my skin get better.)
9/8/24
it was a beautiful, perfect birthday party day, especially weatherwise. I did get overly ambitious I realized and overplanned, but it wasn’t too bad and now I know my party planning boundaries more. I can adjust and eventually find that sweet spot in the future.
9/9/24
Got it. This morning.
9/11/24
The other day in the house I got hot, so took off my shirt and was walking by Hunter in a sports bra and pants when he said, “my favorite mama!” And I paused and asked, “what’s your favorite Mama?” And he confidently declared, “no shirt mama!” I think he was eyeing my belly again lol. we told him he used to live in my belly and he went through a phase where he would curl up under my shirt pretending he was a baby still in there. he’s now stopped doing it, but I noticed he still smiles when he sees my belly and likes to lay his head there.
9/12/24
whoever cleans the shit from your butt. That’s how you can tell who the real mom/dad is. (everyone wants to play and have fun, but… you can only get the full experience if you do the dirty work.)
Marriage Journal 