10/9/23
today was the first day, after weeks and weeks and weeks, that I could go out running in the daylight and not be afraid what my face would look like with the sun shining on it. The weather was clear and cool and beautiful and after my run, my lungs felt better – more open and relaxed, with more capacity.
today I was thinking how, a few hours after we left Baby at my mom’s house for the week, me and R were back home, in the living room and he confided to me, “I miss him already.” just that: I don’t know why, but I always associated missing one’s children with women and maternal tendencies. Like I do understand the concept, with my brain, of fathers missing their children. but I never had any personal experience with it at all until R said this, and I know he meant it. I guess I kind of assume a lot of stereotypes about men, until they prove it differently to me.
(eczema meditation)
balance, strength
faith, first loves
soft skin
how much sweeter some things are
that are lost and then
return
10/11/23
feeling like I’m in remission. Every day, it’s a little tiny bit better. And two days ago, I even re-introduced dairy (ate cheese, drank something with ghee in it) to no ill effect. on Saturday, will re-introduce egg, then three days after that, grains, then soy 3 days after that. Well if none of it sets me back, that’s the schedule.
10/12/23
last night, and today, scratched feet to almost weeping. I think I must put dairy to the back of the queue and try again next time, to see if there is again a bad reaction.
I remember I would dread/be afraid of waking up every morning, because that was when my skin hurt the most. But now it doesn’t hurt as much anymore – it is bearable. also, I don’t feel like Quasimodo when I’m walking out in the sun anymore- I feel almost normal.
10/13/23
The more I think about it, I think maybe the adding back of dairy might’ve been what triggered my feet. Because my face, neck, arms and hands (all the bad spots) are all still getting better- it’s all generally better. so maybe it was that addition of dairy that triggered it- just my feet. Also how I know it’s getting better: the cuticle on my one middle finger that had been receded this whole time is growing back, the lump under my chin that I was worried about many months ago is pretty much not there I think anymore, and I don’t feel that constricted feeling in my lungs that I felt back in May/June. I thought it was the wildfires, but maybe this was all a result of dust mite allergy. Because it’s been one week of making changes all targeted towards dust mites, and all this reversal has happened in the same time frame- it can’t be a coincidence. Maybe the dietary changes, supplements, more attention to sleep, and all these extra things may have helped, because I was slowly getting better before, but I feel that, as soon as I implemented the anti-dust-mite measures, things improved more drastically.
10/15/23
It’s been two days since adding eggs back to diet (yesterday for breakfast had pancakes made with one egg, and also two fried eggs; this morning had an omelet at Healthy Garden) and I think I’m ok with them- haven’t noticed anything bad with skin yet- just face feeling extra dry, but nothing really raised, nothing weepy like after i added back dairy. Will add grains back next. Hopefully I can add everything back/doc can give me some good suggestions if I’m allergic to dairy.
Marriage Journal 