cute phase

6/27/22

he realizes where my boobs are now/has made the connection, cause when he wants to eat he starts clawing at my shirt and sticking his hands in my bra to get to them.

he started biting sometimes while nursing. it’s not the worst- he’s not biting my teat off – but…it’s like a jolt of pain every time he does it (around 1-3 times during each feeding) cause he has a top tooth and bottom teeth now. If it doesn’t get worse than this, I think I can hold out to my goal of breastfeeding him for 1 year. Only like 3 more months to go. And he only does it during day feedings/when he’s awake; when he wakes half-conscious during the night, he doesn’t really bite.

tonight for the first time, he woke from sleep and instead of reaching for my boob, he cuddled into my arms fell back asleep.

6/28/22

Hunter going through a really cute phase; he’s babbling all the time without saying any actual words, trying out his voice, and it sounds so funny. His body is big and bulky but also compact at the same time. A bundle of warm squirmy joy is what he is right now, a pleasure to be around. even when he’s whining (which he does a lot) he’s cute somehow.

Just heard my dad say as they were carrying Hunter downstairs, “How does he make his mouth so round?” (Mom laughs) “…it’s like a perfect circle,” dad mused.

6/29/22

got such a clogged duct today that it felt like skeleton fingers were stuck inside my right breast. i was grossed out while trying to massage it away, kept imagining some strange fingers inside there. hurt too. (in a few hours, late into the night, after he had nursed like three different times with me massaging the clog as much as I could during those times, it finally unclogged and I felt my breast soften again, finally, and I sighed with relief)

how i’m choosing what i buy and wear these days is if the piece could also function as a bib/drool/burp cloth (I always need one with the baby, and usually right away).

7/1/22

had a dream this morning that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t look pretty. I put on some nice pants, but then my feet that were sticking out of them were ugly, and I couldn’t find any matching top in the closet. it was a weird room; mine, but unfamiliar – maybe a hotel room. I tried to turn on the light in the room to see what I was doing, and it wouldn’t turn on no matter what I did, and I couldn’t open the window to let light in, so I couldn’t see the clothes to match them.

i’m pretty sure this dream is in response to rodrigo telling me last night that we might go see some people for the holiday weekend, and I’ve been living in house clothes/pajamas so long that my immediate reaction was fear I couldn’t put together a nice outfit.