6/14/22
there’s toys everywhere now, mixed into everything. Little toys by my bedside to keep him entertained when he first wakes up and I’m too tired to get out of bed, toys on the changing table to keep him from squirming while getting changed, toys in the crib, little toys in my purse, toys in the car that fell on the floor, toys on the couch, everywhere. I kind of like it though. It’s like saying… to weave play into everything.
6/15/22
he gets more amazing every day.
I actually get a little delighted now when he wakes me for night feedings. it’s because when he wakes, he’s started saying, “mom” or “mama” or “nene” (his word for milk) or sometimes all of these in a row. his croaky little half-asleep voice sounds so sweet. it’s just so much nicer and cuter than how he used to wake me when he was a newborn, which was to just wordlessly kick and claw at me. he still wakes up a lot during the night: ready for bed anywhere from 8 pm to 11 pm, then will wake a few times around 3 am, wake a few times around 6, and again at 7 or 8 and be up for the day from then on (though thankfully will usually take a long nap around 10 am, and if so I’ll nap too)
what I was thinking when standing in closet picking my clothes this morning: “something that looks good on camera, but also so comfortable that I can lean over and fall asleep in it right after the zoom meeting.”
6/16/22
“Dear God,” i prayed tonight with my hand on his hip as we lay facing each other on our sides nursing in bed under the open window, 500 willow arms dancing in the night breeze, he had just let out a cry and reached for me and i brought him to my breast, all quiet, white noise going, the occasional night bird call, “please bless this baby beyond my wildest dreams.”
6/17/22
today, on my birthday, turning a nice, round, even number of 40, but still feel in the middle / in the mess of figuring everything out.
Marriage Journal 