4/12/21
I don’t want to wear pillowcase-shaped maternity clothes.
sometimes as soon as I change one underwear because it’s too wet, I soak the new pair with milky fluid, and have to change one more time AND add a pad so I don’t have to change again too soon.
4/13/21
past few days, feels like my belly has like doubled in size. Maybe even over the course of like two nights. Today I felt this stretching feeling, like the skin of my belly is being stretched taut, it feels so big. I feel such a “full” feeling now, even when I’m hungry, because my belly is always sticking out now.
4/14/21
Starting to be not able to breathe if I don’t sit up straight. I think because baby getting bigger- taking up more room.
Last night, R did a really small thing, but idk why, it really made me feel loved and touched my heart, and I’m still thinking about it the next day. Usually at night I rub his back until I’m too tired to do any more and then I kiss him and creep out of his room quietly. If he’s still conscious when I go, he’ll usually turn with sleepy eyes and just say “Boa noite amor” and turn back to sleep. But last night, as I was leaving, he was still awake and turned as I was rising from the bed and reached out for me with both arms, doing almost a full situp in the process, I was surprised, he wouldn’t stop reaching for me so I leaned back in towards him, and he wanted to kiss me on the lips, and he did, and it was warm and nice. And then I left, tingly.
4/16/21
I think what makes you feel most blessed in the world is actually not perfect circumstances. It’s being able to say “despite.” Like, despite _____, you feel happy, healthy, peaceful, blessed, etc. Because I felt like that, today.
I was thinking maybe it’s a good thing pregnant ladies can’t drink anyway. Cause…even sober, I’m losing my balance sometimes. it seems like it’s usually when I’m leaning over too far (in the shower, putting on shoes, etc.). Like since my center of gravity is changing maybe, I can’t judge it as well, how to balance. I’m not familiar with my gravity center anymore. I am almost falling over sometimes, so if I was drunk in this state… I think I might hardly be able to walk/maybe hurt myself by accident.
today was the first time I saw a mom jogging down the street with a baby stroller and didn’t think it looked stupid. I usually do, lol. But today I was like…”wow. look at how much she’s doing and already done.” I was impressed and…respected her.
4/18/21
I miss being able to lift my knees up straight in front of me. Also, never realized how convenient it was to be able to get up from sitting without leaning on anything for support. I’m always putting my hand down on something and leaning on it before I get up now.
Marriage Journal 