it’s a boy (week eighteen)

4/6/21

gentle beginnings elmer office called me this morning, at 9:11 AM with my test results. they told me I’m low risk for genetic abnormalities w/the baby, and that I’m carrying a boy. I facetimed w R shortly after to tell him, he was by himself at our house working on it, putting new insulation in the walls, so much work to be done there that I can’t really help him with cause all the dust and chemicals. I told him it was a boy and he reacted with this big smile, this big grin, we were just smiling at each other, then he said he thought maybe I was tricking him just to see his reaction before I told him it was a girl, lol (he is the only boy from a family of four sisters). I was like, no, it’s a boy.

one of my first thoughts upon finding out “boy”: I’m afraid, since he will be stronger, that  he will have the tendency to be mean or overpower girls, and want to teach him otherwise.

4/7/21

last night in bed, R said,  “uh oh, there’s gonna be another man sucking your nipples. I have competition!” and we laughed. I replied, “No, you’re always #1. You’re the papa.” and he smiled.

4/8/21

I was thinking when I walked by the kids’ playground w/jungle gym the other day that it looked fun, but as an adult I don’t really have an excuse to play on all that stuff, until I have a baby and then – they can be my excuse : )

4/10/21

Today went with R to work on the house, he built a thing in the backyard from scratch in a few hours to store all the baseboard and trim, and we moved all those parts there, so there would be room for the drywall to be delivered and stored in the house- we’re re-drywalling the whole house. while I helped I got to watch him work and move all around me, and we laughed a lot and chit chatted while working, and the sun came out and it was nice out, I even got hot and had to take off my coat, and then my sweater, and by the time we left was just in my tank top. Near the end of our work, it was around 1 or 2 pm, I thought to myself: “if I’ve lived any other lives before…this life is my favorite one.” I can’t get enough of him: watching him, talking with him, being with him.