1/23/24
The pest control people visit yesterday actually gave me a lot of relief. I was thinking the worst, but he said as they were inspecting the basement that it doesn’t look like there’s any colony or nest – rather just one or two rogue mice that recently got in. when the weather suddenly gets cold, he said it’s very common, and then Rodrigo had just torn apart our sunroom a few months ago to try and build a bathroom, but stopped and left it kind of in disarray, and they think maybe that’s where the mice were getting in. also we have these old heating boards in all the rooms, they think maybe they were traveling behind them, is why we can’t catch them. Rodrigo built some insulation around the downstairs ones after the inspection – he said it was something he’d been meaning to do but never gotten around to it. The estimate was $500, so R is going to try to do all the recommendations himself – it’s basically just sealing up the little openings in the sunroom area. we also went to Home Depot together last night, and got more super strong peppermint pouches and some spray that was just like garlic, cinnamon, peppermint and food grade preservative, and sprayed/put them all (somewhat strategically) around the house. The catch and release traps are all still around too, but looks like the mouse isn’t falling for any of them.
1/26/24
every day that I take my socks off and they slide off easily without peeling any skin off, I’m so thankful. It was horrible and like that for so long and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that feeling. have not touched steroids in weeks and weeks; they are gathering dust where they sit.
today was the first day he ever woke up from a nap and didn’t make us/need us to come to him through calling or crying; he surprised us both by pitterpattering into the living room, his hair sticking straight up, holding a bottle of Poland Spring and asking R to open it for him so he could drink.
took care of Baby all day by myself, and I thought everything would be fine, because I had no work, but by the end of the day (it’s 8:40 PM right now), I feel like just laying down and crying. Things were OK until he threw this horrible crying fit/tantrum in the middle of changing him- the first half of changing was fine, I got his diaper and pants on without complaint- but then, when I tried to put on his shirts he wouldn’t stop screaming-crying, but he also didn’t want me to let him out of my arms, so I could tell he was tired. He wouldn’t speak and tell me exactly what he wanted, which was another indication. After like 20 minutes of intense crying and angry, full body rigidity spasms is the best I can describe it, he finally fell asleep in bed with his butt sticking up in the air, for near three hours. I spent the time while he was napping making homemade spaghetti with a ground lamb and peas sauce, and just felt bad when he wouldn’t touch it. Worried about him getting his nutrition. Felt helpless during the crying tantrum. Just want to go isolate myself upstairs for the rest of the night now, which I can do now that R is home, and I will do right after I make him some blueberry muffins (his favorite) (he wouldn’t touch these either, and I had to give them away to our neighbor).
1/27/24
and then, the other week, it was the first night he fell asleep with me and R without asking me for nene (to breastfeed). He did ask at first, but we told him I would go away if he kept asking, so he stopped, and just went to sleep. I was afraid this would never end, but it seems like it’s ending. and just yesterday, when he was crying so hard because he needed a nap, I was afraid he would ask for it, but he still didn’t ask, he just cried himself to sleep. which I don’t know which was worse now, actually. Because it was so hard for me just watching him cry while holding him, but not being able to soothe him. if he asked in that moment, I would’ve given it.
1/30/24
haven’t seen any sign of mouse for a few days now… feeling pretty safe from it. R built molding around the heating boards downstairs and also ripped up over half of the carpet in the basement and moved stuff around cleaning down there, sealed up the holes in the sunroom, and sprayed that strong garlic peppermint spray. So we think all that might’ve driven him/them away.
Marriage Journal 