eeek

1/15/24

I was definitely not obsessed with him when he was a baby, I think, because it was just taking so much out of me physically just to survive every day and care for him, that I didn’t have the energy left over to be. But now that I’m slowly assimilating into “normal” consciousness again, and he is so cute, I am kind of getting obsessed with him. like I cry when I leave him with someone else who will watch him, and when he’s not here, I think of him all the time.

1/16/24

walked in the snow today. my absolute favorite part was seeing the animal tracks coming out of and back into the forest, trying to imagine what kind of little animal crisscrossed our backyard this morning and hopped up on the woodpile there and back down then up onto a tree trunk and disappeared back into the woods. went to the park too and saw small-medium prints close by the treeline there too, was delighted. maybe a dog or cat or beaver or even a fox- i saw one once in these woods, fiery orange.

today was a really good day re the dizziness; didn’t feel it much at all. i even, while cleaning the bathtub, didn’t have my hair back so was swinging my head weird while cleaning to get the hair out of my face and was scared that might trigger it, but it didn’t.

1/17/24

when I asked, what should I do about the mouse?

1/19/24

Happy to report: the dizziness is like all gone. I can get up and lay down as fast as I want- I don’t feel it anymore. And the unsettling feeling I had in my stomach is gone too. 

Unhappy to report: we have mice in the house. Sunday night 1/14 is the first time I saw it, I went to pick up a napkin off the counter, and something ran out, really small and gray. I was shocked, because I’ve never seen a mouse in a house before in my life. but I’ve come to learn through googling that they’re very common and invasive, especially in winter when they need warmth and shelter, and we do live right next to a forest, in an old house. so we set out a DIY trap, but didn’t catch him. Then on Tuesday night, I spotted him again – I just happened to look up as he was scurrying behind things on the kitchen counter. Called R to come down and together we finally caught him via R vacuuming him up in his big industrial vacuum and letting him loose outside. we felt pretty satisfied with ourselves, until the next night, Wednesday night, we were just laying in bed falling asleep, i was laying still with my arms around R and I felt teeth go down around the knuckle of my pointer finger on my left hand. Not small bug-like teeth – the sharp ones that a mouse would have. We jumped up and searched everywhere, but couldn’t find anything. But found more mouse droppings in the closet with brooms and cleaning supplies and also in Hunter’s play teepee. the bite left a little red dot with some redness around it, but nothing too bad, and after two days, it’s not red anymore. so the next morning, Thursday, I started contacting pest control people. and that night, Rodrigo came home with a bunch of traps and deterrent and stuff which we put them all around the house. in addition to this whole week, we have been cleaning and rearranging and decluttering and getting all food off the counter and everything like that. But this morning we woke up without finding anyone trapped yet. I did find a big hole dug in the soil of one of my houseplants though, which scared me because there’s definitely something still here. With teeth. That bites in the dark, unprovoked. That is so elusive we can’t find it even though we turn things upside down. So, to be continued. Trying not to stress, but when I think about it, it does stress me out because there’s just so much constant cleaning of every corner of the house involved, every day. I feel like the cleaning will never end.

again asked what should I do about the mice:

1/20/24

with skin it’s still not bad, but feet got a bit worse, I think maybe because I was getting too lax/overconfident with diet? Because they had been getting better, so i was allowing more of the no-no categories in (eggs,dairy). Had a Martins potato bun last night which has wheat and I itched my foot this morning – should not have had it.