lightheartedness

10/25/22

when I lean forward lately, since he started eating more solid food, little pieces of food that I don’t know what food it is falling out of my clothes.

one of the worst most helpless feelings i’ve had as a parent so far: hunter scratching his eczema while looking at me and saying, “itchy” and me nothing I can do but reply “sorry” and just keep putting the array of all-natural organic balms and creams I’ve collected for both him and i, which don’t help much. i put ice pops from the freezer on his itchy spots too hoping the cold will help soothe.

10/26/22

I hope I can go back to regular sleep after this is over, that I’m not an insomniac now and that I can get normal sleep like I used to, when the day comes when it’s possible for me again.

10/28/22

reading Diaper Free Baby and it kind of changed my whole outlook on mothering. like the end chapters especially…i’m not practicing the diaper-freeness to a T or even mostly, but i love her philosophy/heart source/where she’s coming from. One of the things she suggests for dealing with the overwhelm of motherhood is “lightheartedness,” and that just struck a chord with me. i’d like to try that.

with a baby, you have to be ready to be interrupted at any moment…and if you want to keep your grace/dignity/sanity- not merely ready but also like… open-arms, wholly welcome to it.

10/29/22

the tone of voice when he speaks lately is very commanding and matter-of-fact, like you should understand him, but his words are not understandable many times. it’s really cute =)

when I’m not with the baby, I’m doing things for him: folding his laundry, washing his dishes, cleaning up after him, thinking about him, buying things for him, etc.