I’m usually glad I did

4/14/22

still in the brain fog from sleeplessness where the only thing I can really think about is the moment, what I’m supposed to be doing next, to function. Like for example: I focus on just working right now when I have to work, and then when I’m done my work, I think of the next thing I have to do, maybe wash the dishes, put something away, and the cycle of doing one thing after the other just goes on and on, seemingly endlessly like this, day after day.

this morning, Hunter was trying to climb the headboard of the bed, like he usually has for the past few days, and when I was reaching for him his head fell against my lip so hard it gave me a bloody lip.

4/16/22

noticed this today after R kept talking about putting in a pond in our backyard with fish and a bridge, and I replied, “that sounds like hard work.” realization was that a lot of things he proposes to me, like buying a house, and having a baby, both of which he wanted, I responded basically in the same way. I realized… that I maybe might not have done as many things in my life that I’m glad I did looking back, if it weren’t for him, because he’s the one that kind of initiates, and I love him so much that I go along with it, and I’m usually glad I did later.