1/30/21
today is the first day in my life I think that I’ve ever worn two bras at once. We’re moving today so I thought I needed the extra support cause my boobs still feeling so heavy. so I wore this all-organic-cotton fabric bra that I like that I wear every day (even the straps are cotton fabric) and over that, a victorias secret, underwire, padded racerback bra, and it feels good, like good support. Better than either bra alone.
Last night when we were about to go to bed and it was like 10 and I was so tired and there were still so many things left to do, I said to R, “I’m already so tired. How are we going to feel with a kid?” He laughed and after a minute was like, “I think we’ll find the time. It’ll push us out of our comfort zone. We’ll try harder and become more productive- do things we would have never done before- because we’re doing it for the kid. That’s how I feel at least.” it made my heart swell when he said this.
“I wanted to go snow tubing with you before your belly grows and you can’t do sports anymore. Because soon you won’t be able to do anything” -R, around 7:30 pm when we were driving to grocery store. This cracked me up and touched my heart at the same time. He said he was planning a snow tubing date for us this weekend, but then remembered this weekend we had to move. He said maybe next weekend.
2/3/21
Tonight he said he thinks I’m getting prettier, that the baby is giving me its cells. And when I rolled him over to rub his back to sleep, he said “thank you for being my wife. I’m so lucky you’re my wife and i’m about to have a baby too”
some idea I liked that I read about in an article today – it was an article about how hard it is rejoining the mostly male-constructed, male-led workforce after giving birth, how it doesn’t consider a lot of things regarding women. One of the things I thought was cool was how new mothers develop these new strengths like more empathy/can more easily recognize emotions on faces/better communication skills because of their recent body changes – how this makes them like essentially sharper/a better worker, and marveled at how the work place/policies don’t consider the positive changes like this- only the negative, superficial, short-term factors, like initial loss of time from work.
2/4/21
Last night ordered takeout – the yummy Vietnamese vermicelli bowl, but heated it up cause they say pregnant ppl can’t eat raw sprouts (it had bean sprouts), and it totally changed the taste in a bad way, cause it’s supposed to be eaten raw. It tasted so disgusting, but I still ate it all. I think I was just like in disbelief about how bad something tasted cooked that tastes so good fresh, that I kept taking bite after unbelieving bite until it was all gone, and I was just sad at the end.
2/7/21
Rodrigo did something really nice last night- we stopped by Mitsuwa supermarket to get taiyaki, and I was really excited to get it- I was physically dragging him towards the store while we walked, so I think he knew how much I wanted it. And then when we got to the store front, she was counting the cash at the register and the “closed” sign was up, and I was like “aw,” and was sad and stood back. And R kept saying to go ask her to make sure there wasn’t any left, but I was too shy to do that, and turned to leave, but then the nice thing he did was he went up to her and in his second language, said that we came from really far and asked if there was anything left. Of course she said no, but when I was standing back watching him do that- fumbling in a not-so-comfortable place, and doing it for me- I felt really touched and tender towards him, and in love, and lucky.
Marriage Journal 